Ode Per Pooch Pounding - Ruff Sounding Sub Woofer

by Matthew Scottish Terrier Harris
(Bryn Mawr, Penna.)

whew - all done taking a leak behind bushes of favorite vetch

tub bull patch so now, arf goes me dog gone
bark a roll and ruff sketch
shod ye be the least bit interested in this retch
in this faux paused muttering mongrel
who (despite viscous rumors to the contrary
nada a leech nor letch
boot actually quite a "good" fetch
and a fine prairie home companion -
even if yar tail got docked with out anesthesia
by a pretty lass see
still...yukon feel melancholy
nonetheless juiced buffer end me
like ya know throw a bone fermi to catch.

me - iz one hippie dawg, who sports hair reed style like a veil
longish, and minimally groomed,
asper an antagonistic sans brothers grimm tale
with no intent to rant nor rail
searching fur gallivanting female nursery rhyme minus a quail
boot...with jack and his pail
which known storybook quite old as a rusty nine inch nail
stating dogmatic, humanistic and lyric words
once adored by this older socratic male
offers himself as a bona fide potential
petsmart call soul mate hale
and hearty without any major organ fail
yore, beardless yet scruffy, i wear spectacles rather bifocals bare
lee stay put on me snout to see the world more crystal clear
especially when chaste to impress a bitch in heat -
like ye mud dear
whom height welcome letting me nibble on one or t'other ear
of yours, now trotting along on my yipping badinage
whim per with poetic trademark flair
which doggerel seems unstoppable probably
from a malfunction milk bone shaped cerebral gear
aye attest trademark viz somewhat long wavy, course brown hair
might also involve well tangled follicular roots
affirming me to hear snapping jeer
ring boxer bullies, which floppy mop top in tandem
to firm undersized gluteus maximus or hmm rear
oft times incites other mongrels to stare
yet, the ability to camouflage
ike coon sitter a bonus, akin to a camel lion
or if you prefer chameleon,
this trait stems when Aztec my faux pas amidst mayan
runic ruins, where traipsing for long stretches of time,
ah stopped to chat with ryan
a local junk yard hound,
who at human years over 100 kept on tryin
to survive within the dog eat horse meat world,
where canines sprang from wolverine zoo
and as a complete stranger introduced muss elf
as "man's best friend" to you
from a place in mind known as xandu
which could afford room enough for two
if ye would only stand or sit in this queue
similar to waiting in a cloistered pew
but better grab a place before the places number few
from those who utter yabba dabba do.

i blithely admit not to be a stud
just a recent emigre that hoisted himself out of the mud
from that antediluvian flood
like some garden variety muggle with a male member dud
but rather a regular bovine chewing his cud
and just wanna be a companionable bud.

no intent to be indecent nor lewd
which rapid fire reply help my anxiety riddled mood
unsure what level of interest exists toward this ordinary dude
for reasons and rhymes i scratch my head and brood.

most people find my poetic attempts unclear
and get quite frazzled - with their nostrils that do flair
like some fire breathing dragon filled with rage and glare
all on account of mine human desire for friendship
and some woman for me to care
which closeness worth far more than gems, jewels and trinkets
so...if a safe risk taking mood,
i would be interested for ye to share.

literary enjoyment and entertainment the primary reason i write
from a little known wayfarer
that trawls the virtual seas this night
whereby my being pitched to and fro
which forces necessity to hold on with all me might.

care not for this playful male
ye seem quite desperate a guy to nail
i could benefit from someone
to play the role of inxs bare naked lady
and the super tramp (ah bet she iz jist a cheap trick),
this jack of no trades could enjoy a gal to hold his pale.

oh...fair and lovely princess in this surreal and virtual space
might thee put down the drawbridge
with mush ado of a quick pace
and no need to feign shock nor surround thyself
with defenses to brace
against some maliciousness on my part -
just a wandering troubadour able, eager, ready
willing to show his face
and maybe even other parts of his anatomy
with dignity and amazing grace.